Jason Level-Ridiculous
by CamsthiSky
Summary: 27. "The washing machine broke, I almost lost my keys, the car got dented, and a wasp got into the house and hijacked the bedroom for four day! Four. Days." With Jason and Tim Day 2 of batfam week


**Day 2 is shenanigans. Is this shenanigans? Maybe?**

 **This is actually a prompt fill for both batfam week and an ask I got.**

* * *

"Uh." Tim says, and he looks very eloquent, standing there with his eyes wide and his jaw slack. Very eloquent, and not at all surprised, because Jason's sitting on the couch in the living room like it's nothing.

Except this is the Manor, and Bruce is most definitely here, so why is Jason sitting on the couch like it's nothing?

Tim's confused.

Jason looks up, catches his eyes, and _grins_. Like a shark. It's actually kind of creepy.

"Hey, Timmy," Jason says. "Fancy seeing you here."

Tim decides right then and there that whatever Jason has done, he wants absolutely _no_ part of it. Well, unless it's a prank on Damian, because then he wants _credit_ , even if he didn't actually do anything. Best to find out, though.

"Did you break another window?" Tim asks.

Jason snorts. "No. My apartment was compromised, so I'm staying here for the time being."

"Does Bruce know you're here?"

"Got the kicked puppy look and everything," Jason tells him, slouching back on the couch. "But hey, that reminds me. Do you know where Alfred is?"

Tim finally gets his act together enough to drop down on the couch beside Jason. He might as well accept that the guy is here, even though it's a hard concept to wrap his head around. Good thing Dick isn't here. He'd go into full big brother mood, and then Jason would be out the door faster than Tim could say _Oh, my goodness gracious! I've been bamboozled!_

(Yes, he _did_ just make that joke. He still can't believe Jason Todd had ever willingly let those words come out of his mouth, sarcastic or not.)

"It's Wednesday," Tim says, getting his thoughts back on track.

"Ooh, right," Jason says. "Wednesday's are still grocery days, then?"

"Yeah. Why do you need Alfred anyways?"

"I might have brought some dirty laundry."

Tim sighs. "You know you can use the washing—wait. Is your dirty laundry the _only_ thing you brought with you?"

"Maybe."

"I thought your apartment was compromised," Tim says, trying to make sense of this. Maybe his brain's just a bit too sleep-deprived to process this.

"It was. I mean, it is," Jason says, and there's something odd about his poker face that has Tim guessing he doesn't have the full story. "I had time to grab my laundry, is all."

"Your washing machine is in your building's basement," Tim points out. "You didn't have to come all the way to the manor to wash your clothes."

"Oh, but you know how I love Alfred's laundry detergent."

Tim elbows him. "Shut up, you jerk. Tell me what's _actually_ wrong."

Jason blows out a sigh. "Where to start. Well, my washing machine broke, I almost lost my keys, the car got dented, and a wasp got into the apartment and hijacked the bedroom for four days. I grabbed what I could and scrammed."

Tim blinks. What?

Jason seems to take his blank face as a challenge, though, because he just repeats, "Four. Days," like Tim hadn't heard him the first time. "I'm laying low till that wasp spray Alfred gave me disperses enough not to poison me."

"Riiiiight," Tim says. It's completely ridiculous, but just Jason-level ridiculous enough that Tim fully believes him. "Wait a—did you say car? I thought you had a motorcycle."

Jason's shark grin is back. "I do."

The only car Jason could have gotten his hands on and look like _that_ is….

"But—oh my God, you didn't."

"I most definitely did."

"Bruce is going to kill you."

"Not if he doesn't find out."

"He will most definitely find out."

"Who's gonna tell him?"

"He's _Batman,"_ Tim says. "And you dented the _Batmobile."_

Jason waves him off. "Alfred will save me."

Tim groans. Should have stuck with decision to _stay out of it._ "I'm leaving," Tim mutters, pushing himself up from the couch and starting for the stairs. "Have fun dying. Again."

"He's too much of a sap to kill me!" Jason yells after him.

Tim just rolls his eyes as he makes his way to his bedroom. Next time, he is not going to get involved. Plausible deniability.


End file.
